This I Believe : Jaga Gavin

“A couple of years ago I was having a particularly difficult, overwhelming, world squishing you like a bug kind of day.  I got to the point where I was shouting at God in my head “why does it have to be so difficult, why am I doing all this work alone, why does no one else help, how can I keep going on?” I was having this intense prayer while walking up 35th St.  and something peculiar was happening on that street.  I saw a lady in slow motion; Our eyes connected, I could feel her anxiety and fear in the world, she was close to having no hope left.  Next I encountered a couple of guys having some cocktails laughing and enjoying the moment they had, and though it seemed like joy it felt empty. At the same time I was listening to my iPod and as I approached 7th Ave. the song “You’re Beautiful” by James Blundt came on.  I was still screaming my questions to God in my head, I turned left and saw a sea of thousands of people, and the chorus of the song came on.  But instead of the song singing “You’re beautiful” I heard, “They’re beautiful, they’re beautiful to me-it’s true.  I see their faces in this crowded place and I don’t know what to do because I’ll never be with them.” The moment I heard those words I understood Gods heart towards all these people, the weight of the world was lifted off of me and I was immediately grateful for being able to do what I do.  I have a profound opportunity to connect people to the love of God. I believe that I am a conduit which God’s love can be expressed and that I am in control of the on/off switch. I may have days in which everything is going perfect, and my switch will be on.  I may have days where the weight of the world is pressing me down and I am full of fear and anxiety, and I will feel like turning the switch off. But I will fight that response, because God’s love fought for me. I believe that God sees His children’s faces every day, many of them don’t know Him.  They are of every race, every culture, every faith, all levels of economic status, they hurt, sing, work, play, cry, laugh, live, and die. They are all beautiful. Through me choosing to be that conduit of God’s love, I can maybe, hopefully, possibly, connect people to their Heavenly Parent. This I believe.”