My name is Michelle Beia. I am a sophomore Education Major attending Dallas College North Lake Campus and am a leader in the Dallas CARP chapter.
Even though I was raised in a “Christian” household, I, and my family, were far from the ideal family. While the words, “As for me and my house, we will serve the lord” were planted right above our doorway, I felt we were putting on a façade as a perfect family, which ended with my parent’s divorce.
All of a sudden, numerous problems began to arise. Even though deep down I loved my family, I did not want to love them. I wanted to give in to hate, complaint, irritation, and judgement; and I almost did. I reached a point where I was going to completely give in, and, yet, somehow, there was always a feeling tugging at my spirit, entering my mind and shivering down my spine. I can only conclude that it was God always at my side. Therefore, no matter how dark it got, I could never deny that God was there, and I had a never-changing faith that He would stay there. But, simultaneously, I could only surmise that I was not good enough for Him, that He was wasting his time being next to someone like me, and I ignored him, never wanting to face God. I was overcome with deep guilt and shame.
Maybe this was the condition that allowed God to intervene so heavily in my life. I started college at North Lake and met two students while doing a project: Woojin Suina and Taishi Minosoko. They were both part of an organization called CARP. It was the first I had heard of it, and yet for some reason I really wanted to join, even though I knew nothing about it. So much so that I arranged my schedule for the next semester so that it wouldn’t interfere with club meetings. I went to almost all the events and meetings for no particular reason other than I just knew I had to be there, and I was drawn by the love I received while being there. It was a different atmosphere that I wasn’t used to at home, school, or even church.
Eventually, I began to realize that other CARP members were reading a book in groups that I wasn’t very familiar with. It was the Divine Principle. I asked CARP leaders if I could read it too, and within the week I was studying with Taishi and Sarah Jackson. Our studies would go on for hours talking about only a few pages of material. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. After finishing the book, I knew that God had placed me here for a reason, but my life completely changed once I attended the five day Divine Principle workshop. I tested its teachings and principles by applying it to my family. My family changed in amazing ways in only a few short months. It was the first time I hugged my mom without wincing, the first time my sisters told me that they loved me and meant it, and the first time I was able to love them for who they were and where they were at. Our family isn’t perfect, but we came a long way.
Now, I live at the CARP house as a CARP leader and have learned so much. My relationship with God is so much stronger now, and the relationships I have with others around me are better. CARP has changed my life and the lives of those around me. With the current social climate surrounding American colleges, I hope that CARP can be a place where different people from different backgrounds, ethnicities, faiths, and more can come together for the sole purpose of uniting, loving, and living for the sake of others.